Sunday, April 26, 2020

What to Do With Trump Once He's Not President Anymore

Set him up on a blind date with a polygraph.
Reason: Well, duh.

Place him on the Mexican border and ask him to talk about the carcinogenicity of windmills/how great he is.
Reason: Immigration deterrent.

Wait for him to go on a business trip (preferably to Russia or China) and then shut down the border when he tries to come back.
Reason: Also duh.

Ask him to replace Dr. Oz.
Reason: At this point, he's probably more experienced -- correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think even Dr. Oz has ever recommended injecting yourself with disinfectant as a treatment for anything.

Start training him (quickly!) as one of the astronauts on the Mars mission.
Reason: It might motivate environmental cleanup. Giving the choice between reducing emissions and living on a planet much smaller than Earth that has Trump on it...

Make sure as many people as possible are flat-out ignoring him.
Reason: He's been a center of attention for four years (at this point even more than that if you count the election) too long.

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