10 Things NOT Having Toilet Paper is Good For

Short on TP? Yeah, you probably are. Aren't we all (unless you're one of those ultra-prepared hoarders of paper products)? Look on the bright side, though. Let's face it, toilet paper is a luxury that even many Americans can't afford. Not having it is distinctly a first-world problem. Face it, there are worse things yet to come, and worse things still that are already happening. Here are 10 reasons to celebrate your TP shortage:

1. When the true apocalypse arrives, there's a chance that the zombies will be attracted to large stockpiles of toilet paper. A very small chance, but still.

2. If everyone is short on toilet paper come October, you need not worry about TP'ers this year. 

3. Nobody will want to come over to your house. I know, people have been ordered to socially distance anyway, but no toilet paper deters the rule-breakers! 

4. You'll have all the more room to store your twelve industrial-size cases of Purell.

5. You won't be bitten by a black widow while digging for that pack of toilet paper in the deepest, darkest depths of your garage that you haven't dared enter in months. Why? Because you'll know it doesn't exist.

6. You can rest easy knowing that between your lack of TP and your lack of paper towels, many trees are being saved by your misfortune. Wait, though, most people won't care about that, and they sure won't be thinking about it ... Well, start thinking about it.

7. You needed something to do with all those leftover napkins from that Christmas party anyway.

8. Your kid/younger sibling will have to stop collecting the empty cardboard toilet paper rolls, which will, again, clear up more room for the Purell.

9. You won't have to worry about your kid/younger sibling unraveling the toilet paper rolls through the house.

10. You're in good company, because guess what? I'm out of toilet paper too.

(If you found this mildly funny, please share. In a world without toilet paper, I'm learning to appreciate the small things.)