Illuminati Entertainment

  From the studio that brought you Weirdmageddon...

Gravity Falls is honestly my life right now.

Free Matthew Rushin

PLEASE sign this petition to free Matthew Rushin, and share it however you can! Racism and mental health stigma are terrible and powerful forces, but justice is stronger. Demand it.

https://www.change.org/p/ralph-s-northam-matthew-rushin-autistic-college-student-odu?recruiter=1124041316&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_abi&utm_term=psf_combo_share_abi&recruited_by_id=54d9b380-b70e-11ea-add9-01482047112f&utm_content=fht-20037128-en-us%3Av10

I shared this link a few years ago. It's sad that the music video is still so relevant, but the lyrics are as powerful as ever.

John Legend - Preach - Music Video

Journey to the Yellow Planet: 6 Years Later

I'm going through my old childhood drawings and writing, and have decided to repost this story from when I was seven that I posted here when I was eight. It's a crazy sci-fi/fantasy story and it might be a little fan fiction-y, but in retrospect it's pretty remarkable for a seven-year-old. You can read it here. Happy quarantine/Cinco de Mayo/May/birthday (if it is your birthday). Also, you can find my line-by-line commentary here.

Hey, Twitter! These Aren't Curse Words

Social Justice Warrior (SJW)

You know, this actually used to be a compliment. What's changed? What's so wrong with social justice nowadays?

Woke

Same here. From what I can tell, this means sociopolitically conscious. Again, WHY IS THAT A BAD THING?

Left/Right/Liberal/Conservative/Progressive/Democrat/Republican

These are differing ideologies, not expletives. Even "communist" isn't really an expletive, so how come such apparently benign words as "left" and "right" are used as sharp insults on Twitter? They're DIRECTIONS, people. "Turn right on Sixth Street and make a left at Warsaw Boulevard." Sorry I got POLITICAL there!

Media

Freedom of the press is a critical First Amendment right. "Media" is not a cuss word any more than "decaf" is -- some people can't stand it, but its existence is important to many.

So, that's my rant about Twitter's idea of profanity. "Twitter" isn't a curse word either, but it's starting to seem like one to me.

What to Do With Trump Once He's Not President Anymore

Set him up on a blind date with a polygraph.
Reason: Well, duh.

Place him on the Mexican border and ask him to talk about the carcinogenicity of windmills/how great he is.
Reason: Immigration deterrent.

Wait for him to go on a business trip (preferably to Russia or China) and then shut down the border when he tries to come back.
Reason: Also duh.

Ask him to replace Dr. Oz.
Reason: At this point, he's probably more experienced -- correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think even Dr. Oz has ever recommended injecting yourself with disinfectant as a treatment for anything.

Start training him (quickly!) as one of the astronauts on the Mars mission.
Reason: It might motivate environmental cleanup. Giving the choice between reducing emissions and living on a planet much smaller than Earth that has Trump on it...

Make sure as many people as possible are flat-out ignoring him.
Reason: He's been a center of attention for four years (at this point even more than that if you count the election) too long.

The Best Underrated Animated Movies of the 21st Century

You won't find Frozen or The Lion King on here (well, obviously not the second one, because that was from the last century). No, this is a list of the smartest, most fun animated movies that people didn't pay enough attention to. Maybe you can check them out during quarantine. Here they are in chronological order:

Treasure Planet

I know, it seems weird to start off with a Disney movie, but a lot of people don't seem to even know that this film exists, let alone that it's Disney. It's the only traditionally animated film to clinch a spot here, and it's a winningly original sci-fi take on the classic Treasure Island. It also has not one, but two songs by the frontman of The Goo Goo Dolls. What's not to like?

Meet the Robinsons

This film features time travel, a super-smart main character looking for somewhere to belong, and a great song by one of my favorite musicians, so maybe I'm just biased towards it? Anyway, it's quirky, fun, touching, and criminally overlooked. Just watch it!

Bolt

Coming out on the heels of the critically acclaimed (and scarily predictive) Pixar flick WALL-E, which was admittedly another favorite of my early childhood, this film that can only really be called a mash-up of The Truman Show, The Secret Life of Pets (before there was a Secret Life of Pets, though), and Marvel was bound to end up lost in the shuffle. But it was never lost to me. Basically, Bolt is a dog that stars in a sci-fi action TV show alongside his young owner, but wholeheartedly believes that the whole thing is real. He's constantly convinced that his owner is in danger, and as a result of this ends up mistakenly being shipped across the country. In retrospect, the hamster is slightly obnoxious and the whole thing is a little nuts, but I still smile when I think of it.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

OK, this one was pretty successful and got enough attention to spawn a sequel, but it's still a little bit on the fringe. How many movies, even animated ones, celebrate nerdiness? Kids probably won't notice, but this takes a stab at stereotyping. As a little kid with glasses and a ponytail who felt misunderstood by the world at large, something clicked here with me amidst all the crazy antics involving giant food.

Megamind

Not a lot of animated movies try to challenge our concepts of good and evil. That, and the fact that it was released in the same year, makes it pretty clear that this was Dreamworks' attempt to compete with Despicable Me. Arguably, though, it's actually better. If you liked that concept but couldn't stand the Minions, I will warn you that there is also a single Minion in this film - however, rather than being a cutesy merchandising tool, this is a fish in a mechanical suit. (Personally, I didn't have an issue with the Minions, but I know that a lot of people did for the reason just listed. I like this movie better anyway, though ... let me tell you why.) Maybe I'm just a hard-core fan of the underdog, but the way in which this movie utilizes classic hard rock tracks and subverts the conventions of the superhero genre is brilliant.

Mr. Peabody and Sherman

Frozen-itis (plus The Lego Movie) ruined this film's chances at stardom, but that doesn't change the fact that, ridiculous as it often is, it's also fun, smart and oddly heartwarming. You wouldn't expect an emotional climax to entail a bunch of historical figures repeating the words "I'm a dog, too," but this movie thrives on the goofy and unexpected. All in all, probably one of Dreamworks' best movies of the 2010s, which many would suggest isn't saying much, but it's worth watching. It bears notable similarity to Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, but instead of two idiotic surfer dudes, it's one of the world's greatest minds -- technically a talking dog with glasses and a bowtie -- and his precocious 7-year-old adopted son (i.e. it's Bill and Ted's without Bill and Ted, which some might call an improvement). Most animated films include nods to the joys and pains of parenting, but here this is actually the focus.

Big Hero 6

Given this film's success, it might seem a little bizarre to call it a dark horse, but if not for the extremely unfortunate circumstance of being Disney's first animated movie after Frozen, it probably would have done even better. Look, I'm a sucker for smart kids and superheroes, OK (you've probably realized that by now)?

Of course, there are other films, but these are the ones that stand out to me.

How to Feel Less Guilty About Watching TV

Have you been watching a lot of TV during quarantine? I know I have, and I'm thinking of maybe watching even more, but the problem is I feel so guilty spending so much time on it. Here are some of the best ways I could come up with to help you justify binge-watching:

1. Watch only what you consider worth your time. This is important! If the show is not so funny, exciting or otherwise engaging that you would be choosing to watch it when you have less time on your hands, maybe you could try just not watching it. Like, if you think Tiger King is dumb, don't feel pressured by pop culture -- just abstain! (It's been working fine for me.)

2. Watch with a loved one. My family's been able to enjoy The Good Place, and now The Office, together during quarantine, and I watch other shows such as Alias and The West Wing with just my parents. If you're quarantined alone, try looking into the Google Chrome extension that lets you watch with someone else through video chat. I haven't tried it personally, but I'm told it works pretty well.

3. Multitask to the best of your abilities while watching. Some suggestions I've seen include exercising, cooking, cleaning, and crossword puzzles/Sudoku. My cousin's been playing board games with a sitcom on so that players can watch while waiting for their turn. Of course, some things you can never really devote any attention to at the same time as a TV show (like, um, listening to music, unless you put on closed captioning for the show, though it would probably still be pretty hard).

4. Take a break from watching TV. I hesitate to suggest this, because TV has brought me quite a bit of joy over the past few months and given me some quality time with my family (especially my parents), but if TV is literally all you've been doing, you might need to take a few days to detach. Take a walk (with social distancing). Read a book. Write a book. Keep a quarantine journal that you can someday pass on to your grandchildren as a historical document. Give yourself a little time to breathe before diving back into the black hole of Netflix.

5. Put what you get out of your TV to good use. Preferably, this will extend beyond having imaginary interactions with the characters in which you are a much wittier and braver person than you really are (wait, does nobody else do that?). I am a writer, so I can count every non-reality TV show I watch as "research." See my other blog for writing advice I took from just a few great (and not so great) films and TV shows. Not a writer? No big deal. Here are a few things you can do to engage with your TV on a more meaningful level:

• Do some research to compare the show with reality. How realistic is The West Wing? Beyond all the sci-fi technology, how much of Alias might actually happen?
• Write a review of the show and post it online via the method of your choice (social media, a blog, IMDB, RottenTomatoes). I wouldn't recommend reading other people's reviews, though: for me, at least, that's almost as addictive as the show itself and much less interesting. Also, it might make you mad that people have such stupid reasons for not liking (or liking) a show.
• Analyze what you like and don't like about each episode. Yeah, maybe this is a writer thing, too, but just try it out anyway.
• Shoot quotes at your friends and see if they catch them.
• Take up a hobby inspired by the show. Thinking about the shows I watch, I might try martial arts, foreign languages, debate, speechwriting, wisecracking, or screenwriting (hey, that could apply to almost anything).

So, there it is: the best wisdom I can offer on how to feel less guilty about watching TV. This is coming to you live (not really, though, when you're reading this) from my house about a month into quarantine, where I have probably been watching more TV than anyone reading this article.

4 Political Thoughts (Plus 1)

1. Thank you, Bernie Sanders, for endorsing Joe Biden, and to both of you for reminding us that human dignity in politics is still hanging in there.

2. If you live in Kentucky, please consider electing a non-dirtbag for senator. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/04/20/how-mitch-mcconnell-became-trumps-enabler-in-chief

3. The West Wing has actually led me to have more respect for my fellow Americans of the Republican persuasion. Ainsley Hayes kicks debating butt!

4. I can't tell anymore whether Trump is more of an arrogant, blustering idiot or a manipulative, power-hungry a-hole. I have a great deal of trouble feeling good about either possibility.

ADDITIONALLY: Thank you to all the people who are working to keep us alive and sane during this pandemic - especially the healthcare workers, of course, but also the entertainers, the researchers, the criminally under-appreciated Instacart workers, the perhaps even more criminally under-appreciated sanitation workers, and so many others.

Fun Fact

The popular conception of the Senate "talking filibuster" is not a requirement and is nowadays relatively rare. Today, filibusters are ubiquitous but on the most part rather boring (and, many would say, especially other senators kept waiting, annoying). This is because around the 1970s, the Senate decided that they needed to be able to have more than one bill on the floor at the same time, so now debate will often simply switch over to another bill during a filibuster (Source: New York Times). 

Quarantine Schedule

Assuming a worst-case scenario, in which America is under quarantine for months on end, I have things planned out. I will finish revising my novel, write and revise at least five short stories, keep up my GPA in an online format, get good enough on the guitar to proficiently coherently play the introduction to "Crazy on You" (which will take a lot of effort), finish bingeing The West Wing (after which I will re-binge Alias, then re-binge The West Wing, then repeat until quarantine is over), and become that friend who seems to always know what to say (which will take even more effort than the "Crazy on You" goal).

Wow, I'm booked. I guess I should probably be doing schoolwork to keep up that GPA/writing said short stories/playing the guitar/watching The West Wing/being a good friend instead of posting on here! Nah, still gonna post.

New Blog

While I am now several years older than I appear in the pictures on this blog, you might have guessed that I'm a little young to be writing the way I sometimes do. I've started a new blog to catalogue the gifted side of me, both the general experience of giftedness the way I see it and my life as an actual "college kid." The blog is called Diary of an Actual College Kid, and you can check it out here.

A Few Good Things I've Gotten Off Quarantine

I have calluses from hours of playing guitar that I probably wouldn't have spent if not for this. I also have renewed motivation to finish revising and publish my first novel. I have more candid communication, and more communication in general, with my friends in the midst of all that's happening around us. I have an obsession with The West Wing, though nothing could quite eclipse my obsession with Alias as it stood the last few months while I watched it for the first time. I have the ability to watch The Good Place with my little brother and The Breakfast Club with my mom due to VidAngel's temporarily offering its services for free. I have a profound appreciation for my family's continued health and safety, as tragedy puts things in perspective. To keep things positive, I won't spend much time on the increased anxiety I also have and the food that I don't have (hello, dehydrated refried bean flakes). My heart goes out to all those who really are suffering from this, but while I'm cynical about the current state of the world, I am (almost) always the optimist when it comes to my personal situation, so I feel the need to look on the bright side of quarantine to maintain my sanity.

10 Things NOT Having Toilet Paper is Good For

Short on TP? Yeah, you probably are. Aren't we all (unless you're one of those ultra-prepared hoarders of paper products)? Look on the bright side, though. Let's face it, toilet paper is a luxury that even many Americans can't afford. Not having it is distinctly a first-world problem. Face it, there are worse things yet to come, and worse things still that are already happening. Here are 10 reasons to celebrate your TP shortage:

1. When the true apocalypse arrives, there's a chance that the zombies will be attracted to large stockpiles of toilet paper. A very small chance, but still.

2. If everyone is short on toilet paper come October, you need not worry about TP'ers this year. 

3. Nobody will want to come over to your house. I know, people have been ordered to socially distance anyway, but no toilet paper deters the rule-breakers! 

4. You'll have all the more room to store your twelve industrial-size cases of Purell.

5. You won't be bitten by a black widow while digging for that pack of toilet paper in the deepest, darkest depths of your garage that you haven't dared enter in months. Why? Because you'll know it doesn't exist.

6. You can rest easy knowing that between your lack of TP and your lack of paper towels, many trees are being saved by your misfortune. Wait, though, most people won't care about that, and they sure won't be thinking about it ... Well, start thinking about it.

7. You needed something to do with all those leftover napkins from that Christmas party anyway.

8. Your kid/younger sibling will have to stop collecting the empty cardboard toilet paper rolls, which will, again, clear up more room for the Purell.

9. You won't have to worry about your kid/younger sibling unraveling the toilet paper rolls through the house.

10. You're in good company, because guess what? I'm out of toilet paper too.

(If you found this mildly funny, please share. In a world without toilet paper, I'm learning to appreciate the small things.)

A Retrospective: Why I've Given No Opinion on The Rise of Skywalker

I know what you're thinking: She hasn't seen it yet. No, of course I've seen it! I still call myself a Star Wars fan. No, it was much better than critics claimed, if not (in my humble opinion) quite as good as its two predecessors, but at the time I saw it, a different masterwork of J. J. Abrams had captured my attention. No, not Lost - Alias, a show you might have already seen me mention time and time again. With all its crazy sci-fi elements, it might be a guilty pleasure for some, but not for me. I have no guilt: I absolutely love it (given that I'm a teen girl, though, there are way more embarrassing things I could like, comparatively). The thing is, though, we saw The Rise of Skywalker on a crisp winter Monday morning. I saw a particularly riveting episode of Alias on Friday night. Some sort of interference I have no memory of on Saturday and my family's Sabbath observance on Sunday meant that my viewing of part 2 of said episode was delayed until Monday night. Needless to say, I was a little distracted during ROS. So, J. J. (not that you're reading this), the reason I haven't given ROS as much love as I have previous Star Wars movies is merely that by far the most addictive and thrilling TV show I've ever watched, and one of your creation, has captivated me. I've already started rewatching Season 2 (because I already finished rewatching Season 1). And in case you're curious, while the Kashmir two-part episode is also awesome, I'm referring to "The Box" (we call them the Tarantino episodes around my house, though we could also call them the Die Hard episodes or the "saving SD-6, even though we're working to destroy it, because this is the only way to save the people in it" episodes - and whew, I need to take a breather). A review of The Rise of Skywalker will hopefully come forth soon...

These 9 Films Will Cheer You Up During Quarantine

Feeling down in the dumps as you're battered with grim statistics, the tribulations of social distancing, and the pang of realizing your distinct shortage of toilet paper (which you are now having to bum off your neighbors)? Well, online video rental services are still up and running, so here are nine movies that will put a smile on your face for sure...

Say Anything...

This is arguably one of the best teen movies ever. It's debatable as to whether it even qualifies as a comedy, but John Cusack rocking out to the Chili Peppers in his car on graduation day or explaining his objections to buying, selling and processing won't fail to lift your spirits. Lloyd Dobler is one of those characters you just have to love, and if you haven't met him, please get acquainted ... and if you have, now is a great time for a reunion.

Ghostbusters (1984 version)

Before there was Men in Black (the movie, at least; I know little about the comic), before there was Thor: Ragnarok, there was a movie about four guys and a marshmallow giant. Ghostbusters was pretty much the first great sci-fi comedy, and that's without mentioning its contributions to the popular vernacular (this might look like just a review of a movie I didn't like, but scroll down and you'll find that Ghostbusters tidbit).

My Best Friend's Wedding

This film is just ridiculously hilarious. You'll never be able to listen to "I Say a Little Prayer" with a straight face ever again. EVER. Why watch a mediocre rom-com when you can watch a great rom-com like this one?

Meet the Parents

This Ben Stiller comedy will always be there to remind you that your relationship with the in-laws could be much, much worse. At least you've never set their yard on fire, overflowed their septic tank, and lost their beloved cat in a single day, which also happens to be the day before the lucky lady's sister is supposed to be married in said yard (or have you?). I can say in full confidence that Robert De Niro has never been funnier.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

One high school troublemaker embarks on an epic quest to have as much fun as possible ditching school one last time with his best friend and girlfriend in this classic John Hughes flick. While John Hughes' other films definitely have their humor - if you've ever seen Pretty in Pink, you know I'm right - Ferris Bueller is arguably the funniest, hence its inclusion on this list. A stolen Ferrari, a manic principal obsessed with catching Ferris in the act of ditching, a jealous sister also determined to catch him in the act, and lots of hilarious fourth-wall breaking are all involved.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

A winningly original superhero film that revitalized the seemingly exhausted Spider-Man franchise through what is most probably the best comic book-style animation to hit the big screen and a wit that alternates between outright goofy and oddly insightful (or maybe it's just plain funny - take your pick).

The Princess Bride

If you have kids (or if you are a kid) and are sick of watching some animated movie or other 500 times since you started your quarantine, put this on. I've grown up on this movie, but I actually like it more every time I watch it. It's a fantasy adventure cult classic that's full-to-bursting with wit and charm. I say there are two categories of people who've seen this film (with maybe a few exceptions): people who unabashedly fall in love with it, and people who have secretly fallen in love with it and don't want to admit it. There really is something in it for everyone. Academics can even keep track of all the logical fallacies used - seems like a fun way to pass some of those long quarantine hours.

Inside Out 

Catharsis, people! This film might have a killer comedy voice cast (Amy Poehler and Mindy Kaling come readily to mind), and an entertainingly original take on emotion and the workings of the brain, but what sticks out most is its earnest handling of letting go of the past and accepting sadness as an integral part of life. If you're in a deep funk that you just can't seem to laugh off, this might be some better medicine. Again, catharsis! This is an especially important consideration in light of the coronavirus, which seems to be everywhere and is so hard to ignore. I've been feeling down about it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

What About Bob?

No, you're not crazy (no pun intended) - if you've seen this list before, know that I have updated it to add this film. I recently saw it for the first time and couldn't resist tacking it on. It's distinctly PG yet still hilarious. Bob Wiley (Bill Murray) is a charismatic but highly neurotic man who, upon learning that his therapist, Dr. Leo Marvin (Richard Dreyfuss), is going on vacation, follows him to his country home. Dr. Marvin grows more and more desperate to shake him off even as Bob wins over his family. Compared to the other films on this list, it's probably most similar to Meet the Parents in its style of humor, and it is, again, hilarious.

Of course, these aren't the only films in existence that are completely and utterly enjoyable, but they are nine that came readily to mind. Have some laughs, people, and stay safe!

In light of the coronavirus, I'm writing a song about quarantining, social distancing, people's disregard of it, etc. In retrospect, it might just sort of suck, and the melody in the verses might be a little too similar to "Don't Let Me Get Me." Oh, what the heck? It's not like I really have better things to do. Although I could be working on that novel I really should be working on right now, or catching up on reading for my abnormal psychology and political science classes ... Dang, now I feel all guilty. Of course, what I'd actually be doing is watching Alias or The West Wing, or adding to my Spotify "Coronavirus Sucks!" playlist (what? it's an inherited tendency - blame my dad), or playing with that cool little circuit maze game I have, or beating my brother repetitively at Boggle (although sometimes he wins, too)... OK, now I feel even guiltier, but for a different reason. The one thing that messes with your head more than solitary isolation is being isolated WITH your family! 

Why I Admire Bernie AND Joe: A Respectful Political Reverie

Some might say that liking Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders simultaneously is impossible - like loving both The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. The thing is, though, I liked both of those movies, and I like both of these candidates. So, here goes: why this future voter (and maybe even future politician - we'll see) respects both the Democratic candidates amidst all the divisive social media rhetoric that seeks to position them as polar opposites. I'll tell you what positive qualities stick out to me in both candidates (although any implication that the other candidate lacks said qualities is unintended) and what led me to notice these things. I will NOT be discussing my choice as to which candidate I support within this particular post, because this examination is meant to dish out equal praise to both candidates. Fans of Joe, please try to understand why Sanders deserves your respect. Bernie Bros, please try to understand why Biden deserves your respect.

Bernie Sanders

Bernie has, with minimal exception, stuck to his values for decades. With all that political pressure going around, that is pretty damn impressive. Another thing that is striking is Bernie's fire. The dude is 78, yet more emphatic and intense than many who are decades younger. He appeals to those who are decades younger on huge levels, which is no easy feat for an old white guy. His ideas, whether or not you agree with them, are bold in a good way because they've drawn national attention to important issues. Paying for college and healthcare sucks, and coming from someone who's watched my parents slog through student loan debt and haggle with pharmacists about the insurance company's refusal to cover the whole month of doses for my brother's anxiety medication, it is a really big deal that Bernie is working so hard to make things better. He owns the title of democratic socialist even though the term has damaged his chances of appealing to Cold War-traumatized older voters, but it's hard not to admire him for never going back on things, whether or not you agree with those things. He's shone throughout the debates, too, still going strong and sticking to his message when most people his age would be in bed and even candidates thirty years younger are starting to run out of steam by the end of the night. He has sworn to pull back the reins on big corporations with too much power. He would make a good president for these times by leading a revolution, getting those young people out to vote and fighting for that big change. These are the primary reasons that I respect Bernie Sanders.

Joe Biden

Joe Biden is one of the most genuinely caring people ever to fill the role of "politician." (Now, as I stated before, I am not trying to imply here that Bernie is not empathetic. Rather, I'm pointing out the traits in each candidate that stick out to me MOST.) But the truth is, when this thing we call the 2020 Democratic presidential race started out, I didn't recognize this. And months later, after the primaries in Iowa and New Hampshire AND Nevada, I still failed to see the appeal of Joe Biden. But then came this golden town hall in South Carolina where Biden showed his true colors. I don't know how many people watched it - I don't think it ever got posted on YouTube - but he was feeling and personal and understanding. He is not necessarily the status quo or an average Joe, especially now that he's endorsing free college and improvements on our (frankly atrocious) student loan forgiveness system. Flip-flopper, some might say, but flexibility and loyalty both have their pros and cons. And while Bernie Sanders' experience shouldn't be denied, Biden has been in politics for about a century. Hell, not only was he in the Senate before my birth, he was in the Senate before my mom's birth! Being vice president to Barack Obama is not exactly a bad feather to have in your cap when running for a Democratic nomination, either. He would make a good president for these times by leading a revolution of empathy (which we've been so short of in politics lately, mostly thanks to Trump's presidential endorsement of bullying on a daily basis), bringing stability back and setting the stage for that big change. These are the primary reasons that I respect Joe Biden.

At this point, I will NOT tell you which of these men I support. I would like to at least maintain the appearance of an impartial political commentator throughout these turbulent times. (Well, I'm not impartial when it comes to Trump, but that's because listening to him speak makes me want to vomit and I'm determined to get the jerk the hell out of not only the Oval Office, but public office and, if possible, the public eye.) I'll pull a page out of the books of some of the political figures I admire most - such as Cory Booker and Barack Obama - and point out that we have more in common than we think, so we should stop arguing so much and keep our eyes on the prize. Still, though, you can't really like The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi equally...

While people everywhere are buying kitschy heart-shaped balloons and teddy bears for their loved ones, to many this day marks a much grimmer occasion: two years since the shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. 

WHY is Alias not available to stream anywhere? WHY??? I own the entire series on DVD, but the first two discs of Season 2 both mysteriously refused to work last night after years of smooth operation. Consequently, we had to purchase those episodes again. Either the library needs to get more copies of the DVDs (they were all checked out, as if a bunch of people suddenly thought, "Oh, it's early January? Time to binge-watch Alias"), or Disney+ needs to integrate more material from the many companies it now owns. Alias is an ABC show, after all, and what about the X-Men movies? They were made by 21st Century Fox, which Disney also now owns.

Alias is an espionage thriller with a sci-fi edge that, despite receiving less attention than J.J. Abrams' later project Lost, is frankly awesome. Less than halfway through the first season, I realized I was totally hooked, and haven't looked back since. So many reasons that everyone can find something to like here: quite likely Jennifer Garner's best acting work, a kick-butt female spy as the lead character, Michael Giacchino's first major score (for you music nerds), Quentin Tarantino as a guest star (which I thought went over well even though I have never seen any of his movies), edge-of-your-seat cliffhangers at the end of literally almost every episode, plot twists, emotional drama, even the occasional moment of comedic brilliance. Oh, yeah, and if you're into spectacle, there are lots of explosions and fistfights, and Jennifer Garner does many of her own stunts. And even though it acts as the ideal escapist TV show in the action-adventure genre, many of its darker elements can't help but seem all too real. So, yeah, you should check it out - if you can find it anywhere. Hey, maybe SD-6 encrypted my DVDs...

CRITICAL UPDATE!!!!!!!! - Alias is now on Amazon Prime! I'm not a fan of lining Bezos' pockets, but this show is worth it. Stop reading my fanatical rants about it and watch the freaking thing, please!